First things first. Croatia is a beautiful country, full of wonderful, kind, friendly, generous people. You should go. I promise you won’t regret it.
But, if you want to piss off a Croatian bus driver (and I should point out that I really didn’t), here’s how to do it.
Dubrovnik City Walls, Croatia
Attempt to pay your bus fare without using the correct change.
It was late at night in Dubrovnik. After a lovely meal, a couple of drinks and a stroll through Dubrovnik’s Old Town, I couldn’t face climbing the 360 steps (I had counted them) back to my apartment.
I knew if I hurried to the outskirts of the City Walls I’d make it to the bus stop in time to catch the last bus.
When I reached the bus-stop I discovered I didn’t have any small change. Not to worry, I was sure I’d seen someone the previous day pay their bus fare with a 100 Kuna note (roughly £11/€13/$14). I’d be fine.
Boy, was I wrong!
The bus arrived. I stepped on, smiled, handed over my money and asked for a ticket.
WTF Just Happened?
With absolutely no warning all hell broke loose. The bus driver freaked out. And I mean really freaked out.
“What is this?” he shouted at me.
“Get a fucking taxi” he spat, still holding on to my money.
“Only you”, he continued shouting, and proceeded to show me his massive stash of 20 Kuna notes.
“Everyone else gives me change. Only you!”
I did silently wonder what the problem was as he clearly had plenty of change to give me.
This torrent of disproportionate disgust lasted for about a minute. A minute feels like an hour when there’s a bus full of locals desperate to get home, and a long line of weary holiday-makers standing in a queue behind you.
I probably shouldn’t have, but in my strongest Scottish accent I eventually snapped, “Look, what are you saying here? Are you gonna accept my money and give me a ticket, or are you not?” I wasn’t sure if he understood me, but I think he got the general idea. He literally threw a ticket at me and sighing heavily and dramatically, flung my change on the counter in front of me.
I looked at him, smiled the widest, sweetest smile I could muster and said, loudly and sarcastically, “thank you” before marching to the first available seat I could find.
Half an hour later my audacity was punished when the driver ignored my request to stop and drove past not one, but two bus stops, eventually stopping at a third stop in the middle of what looked like a city by-pass.
My Saviour
It was after midnight and I genuinely had no idea where I was or how to get back to my apartment. I’m not ashamed to admit I was concerned, afraid even.
PublicDomainPictures / Pixabay
Thankfully, 99.9% of people in the world are nice.
A very lovely local lady either saw the look on my face, or sensed my concern. She actually got off the bus with me (before her stop) and directed me back to where I needed to be.
Perhaps I was unlucky to have been on the receiving end of a tired, stressed-out, grumpy bus driver’s sharp tongue. I’m sure it was a one-off. But it really did leave a bad taste in my mouth, and I couldn’t help wonder how I would have made it home if it hadn’t been for the kindness of a complete stranger.
What did I learn?
- Always carry some change.
- 99.9% of people are indeed nice.